It just happened in my life recently that I worked quite a lot with managers from Nigeria. These were several different groups for whom I delivered coaching workshops, aiming at developing leadership skills. And each time it was for me a special time… each group was creating a special value.
I could talk a lot about the unbelievable, enormous energy of the Nigerian people, about the warmth, openness, special close contact that you may experience with them… meeting with such an exotic culture is valuable itself and enriching and conversations during the workshop and during its breaks open completely new perspectives and views on the world and people – and I am sure it was happening both ways.
But what I wanted to share with you in relation to these events from my professional life is the feeling which I experienced at those moments and which I do experience from time to time in my work, and it is enormously enriching and irreplaceable… This is a feeling of an absolute certainty of being in the right place, at the right moment, with the right people – a feeling of FINDING YOUR TRIBE…
No, I won’t be the next white Masaya woman, I didn’t lose my mind for a tribal king or any other African handsome… Just at instance I want my family to calm down!
The feeling of finding my tribe happens to me while working with many different nationalities, with people from different continents so it is not about Africa itself either. You may ask then: so what is it about?
It’s about the fantastic feeling of building together a great energy, an energy that motivates on one side, on the other – an energy that connects, that links people together, unites them and causes that everybody wants to give as much as possible. An energy that creates a conviction of creating something special, something that makes sense, something that is needed for every participants of the workshop and that enriches us as human beings.
Here you are a group of people from different parts of the world meeting in one place, at one moment and for several days they will be working together talking about topics like leading people, leading themselves, developing people, developing their own potential, supporting others in overcoming internal barriers and overcoming their own imperfections. They are talking about their weaknesses and challenges, successes and enjoyments. During these conversations it reckons that here you are… just people who have met – yes, they are very different, there are a lot things that they don’t have in common but they quickly discover how much they have in common and …that they belong to the same tribe…
Development question for you: When did you experienced this kind of feeling last time? What was the place and the people? What was your role in this event?
In such circumstances I, as a trainer, quickly realize that what is happening it is not just a business workshop any more. It is an important meeting, a TRANSFORMATIONAL meeting, and nobody will be the same after it. And I am a witness and a facilitator of it. I feel joy, and meaning, and satisfaction that I do what is needed and I do this in the right way! I create VALUE. Just because of myself, because I am what I am and who I am…
Some time ago I received a great recognition. I was given an Nigerian name by my Nigerian friends – Ada Eze – a daughter of a king – in their culture that symbolizes love and dignity…
I wish you all found your tribe soon. Your tribe meaning people with whom you will feel needed, fulfilled, suitable, appreciated for what you are like and who you are.
Our tribe drives us to be our best, thanks to these people we discover our talents, we develop our strengths, we get even stronger inside us and because of all this we contribute to and enrich the space around us. We get a feeling of a bigger purpose, fulfillment and meaning. Sometimes it happens to us that we get lost and we try then to define ourselves again but it is not working. I suggest you should do the other way – try to start from the end. Stop looking for yourself, stop defining your true SELF, let it go… Instead, start to look for people for whom you will mean as a person, they will help you to find yourself finally…
Development question for you: Where you can find to look for your tribe? How can you go about that? If it was a long time ago when you experienced this kind of unity and understanding, look around now at people who surround you, with whom do you feel a better and more interesting person?
These can be people who will share your passion, with whom you work or – as my example shows – for whom you work. It is important that you feel with them natural, accepted, creatively inspired and because of that you will be ready to share your energy and to be the best version of yourself.
Finding your tribe may take you some time but don’t give up. And stay away from those with whom you experience exactly opposite feelings. If you have an impression that you have to pretend to be someone else, that you don’t have any motivation to act, you have no energy, and especially if you realize that when you are with them you feel WORTHLESS – that means the red light is on for you! For sure you are in a wrong place, at a wrong moment, with some wrong people!
Development question for you: Are there any people in your life, with whom you experience quite frequently the feeling of being worthless? What does that mean about you?
When we are with our tribe we feel strong, motivated, we feel we can… the energy flows and we do as well, inside it, like fish in the water! Complete immersion! And around us just the BIG BLUE!
All the best!
Monika