We all aspire to be the best. We are glad when our work brings results and when we are appreciated. But it turns out not be true for everybody – there are people who deliberately set hurdles against themselves and hamper their way to achieve goals, just to delay the moment of eventual success, or even prevent themselves from making it.

Why do they act like this? Actually they fear that consequences of their success can be much worse than lack of it. What is interesting, it doesn’t mean that they don’t wish to achieve it – they are driven by two conflicting forces: on the one hand they desire the success but on the other they are afraid of its implications.

What are the potential bad consequences?

First of all such people are afraid of jealousy, envy. This attitude may be a result of prevailing stereotypes of the person who achieved a success: the stereotype is a belief that every success is followed by isolation and loneliness. In order to understand this attitude we have to sometimes look back to the person’s childhood. It is very often the truth that the person has grown in an atmosphere in which his/her aspirations were not supported by parents or siblings. A child seeing that family members feel envious of his/her achievement, in the future in a situation of a potential success, becomes afraid of the success because the child already knows that he/she will have to face these negative feelings of those who he/she loves. Sometimes this is a brother, a sister or a cousin but it can also be parents… But the truth is very simple, every effort and every hard work deserves a success and appreciation, and everyone deserves… to be loved!

All the best!