The more you advance in an organization, the more important it becomes to maintain the good relationships you have established at work over the years. Leading means relating. We may differ in our preferences and attitudes to work – some of us value a lot the atmosphere in the office, others may value more the job content and tasks given to us, but in general all human beings prefer to work with people they know and like than in an anonymous or hostile environment.

According to Scott Blanchard “those who inspire trust and demonstrate a true understanding of others’ concerns and aspirations are the people who are lifted up for leadership.”

Whatever you do, don’t avoid or ignore the people aspect of work.

Don’t lose people when you chase for results. It’s wonderful if you are task-oriented, without this skill you would not be able to perform well as a manager. I am also sure that you remember from your past or you still know and work with some individuals who are managers but don’t demonstrate too much of so called ‘people skills’…

Nevertheless, be aware that keeping to yourself and focusing only on your work might help you avoid the negative aspects of relationships, yet it will also limit your ability to grow within the organization and have the biggest impact. Think about Jack Welsh, Richard Branson and many others – the top leaders in companies are great creators of enriching relationships with people!
So first be honest with yourself and assess where you are.

Building positive relationships is not so easy sometimes. It’s easy with easy-going people but as soon as a difficulty in communication occurs we may feel lost. The first signal is when you begin to struggle to understand the other person – ‘what’s the hell going on with this guy?’, ‘what is wrong with her?!’ Unfortunately our typical reaction when we meet someone who we cannot understand is that we start to ascribe the person bad intentions. So we start to believe one simply doesn’t want to communicate, and if only he/she wanted to communicate she/he would be able to express clearly to us what the issue is about and our relationship would be wonderful. But he/she doesn’t want! This is what we think.

And we don’t realize that in fact in many cases the other person thinks the same about us!
So if you really want to change something in your life in this aspect, begin with changing yourself. And the best way to start building positive relationships is to map out your current relationships.

Exercise for you:
Sit down with a piece of paper and create a map of you and each person you have a relationship with at work. Do a quick assessment of those relationships by asking yourself the following questions about each individual:

Do you know what is important to them? Do you know what are their values?
Do you know what motivates them and what demotivates them? Do you know their career aspirations? How much do you think are they satisfied with their jobs? How may they feel in their teams, in this company?
Do you know anything personal about them? How is their family life? Are they in a good health? What are their hobbies?
What are in your opinion their personal traits? What kind of people are they? What is their preferred communication style?
What is your relationship with each of the individuals – positive, neutral, or negative?

I remember doing this exercise with one of my executive clients. He got tremendous results out of this! This relationship map will help you identify problem areas as well as you may notice that there are people with whom you communicate easier and others with whom you find it more difficult. You may want to find out why it is so. You may discover some patterns in the way how you interact with people. From there, you can begin to identify and develop strategies for improving those relationships as well as improving your skills of creating positive relationships with people in general.

All the best!
Monika