Is it just this feeling that you are experiencing now?
Let me guess –you again made some efforts , maybe it was about your business or your career, or maybe again you tried to keep on a diet and…? Well… you again gave up! And now you have enough, you’re fed up with what you are, you’re fed up with all the trials that always end with a failure. You’re fed up with what you feel after, when you already know that again you didn’t succeed, again you didn’t manage to realize your big plans. How many times can you try? How many times can you accept the feeling of a failure and the inner frustration that tells you that YOU are whole a failure?!
You probably think: I’m just hopeless and I cannot change it. Everything will stay as it is because this is just me. It’s time to stop dreaming about a better life, more interesting work, prettier outlook and about myself inspiring and energized. My place is in shadows, among common people whose voice is not important and whose existence stays unnoticed and whose dreams never come true…
If I guess properly all your thoughts of this kind are accompanied with your conviction that only you are so hopeless! You look around you and see happy, fulfilled people who get what they want and don’t seem to have problems similar to yours.
Well, here you are completely wrong! In fact I’m sure that you are also wrong in all the other things mentioned above. Most people experience what you’re feeling at this moment. I also remember many times in my life when I felt similar. And I’m sure there are still such moments in front of me.
Revelation no 1
Because the truth is – and this is the first good news for you – if you feel this kind of doubt it is because you compare what is happening in your life with this where and how big potential you feel in yourself! Look at this from that perspective – you feel frustrated because you perfectly know that you can do MUCH MORE! Isn’t it good news? Do you understand? If you didn’t feel you inner fire, this inner spark, all these so far unused opportunities you would not feel frustrated!
Are you frustrated with the fact that you didn’t win a gold medal in Olympics in box? Probably not. Why? Because you don’t feel that you have any potential for that ( of course I assume now you are not and have never been training this kind of sport). Do you feel now how it works? So what’s the conclusion? Well, it looks like you perfectly know what kind of potential you have and in which area!
Revelation no 2
Rest and… relax… It will help you. If you have tried for a long time to make your dreams come true and at the end you failed you may be feeling now exhausted .In this stage it will be difficult to think rationally and to identify where you have made mistakes so you can take your lessons for the future. What you need the most now is rest. Maybe you should spend a weekend in the mountains or at the seaside, maybe you could walk or read books you like, or enjoy some time with your friends, go dancing with them, to a concert or a barbeque, just lough together.
So for these short two days totally FORGET what is bothering you and the best if you spend this time in the possibly most enjoyable way for you. Say to yourself: “ok, I am hopeless and maybe I will stay this way for ever but I’m going to worry about that later, now I’m having 2-days holiday!” If you have read or watched “Gone with the wind” you recognized this strategy as a “Scarlett O’Harra’s way”. This is a very wise way. It helps and works against burnt-out!!!
Revelation no 3
When you have rest think now how you can have this kind of relaxing moments for good in your calendar – yearly, monthly, weekly or the best every day! We live so quickly now and it is very difficult to find time for rest. I know it very well especially since I have had my own company, and between workshops that I deliver or coaching sessions with my clients I usually work from home. At the beginning just after I resigned from my employment and I didn’t have to sit in the office from morning till evening any more this new reality excited me a lot!
Quickly I realized that I was working in fact 24h/7d schedule. With today technology even an email that arrives at 3am can wake you up and you may want to read it. And because I have clients in different parts of the world if I didn’t set boundaries I could end up in a situation when I would be working all the time!
I think I was very close to this kind of living. Fortunately I got wiser. Now I plan my free time short and long-term. And I stick to my plan! In my free time I don’t open my email box, don’t get phone calls, facebook messages. And it happened many times that I refused to my client because I planned my free-time when the client wanted me to work for them. If you have problems with setting boundaries look at my post on that. And remember when you doubt in yourself you should first give yourself a break!
Revelation no 4
And ask yourself why you what you do – you run your company, develop your career, introduce a diet… Why do you want to achieve, realize what you have just not managed to realize. What is your motivation, how important it is for you and why it is important. The more significant the reason is the bigger will be your motivation tot try again. Don’t be satisfied with the first answer. Repeat the question “why” several times, go deeper to your most important motivation.
In my case when I ask myself this question why I run my business the first answer which comes to my mind is: “because this kind of business is interesting for me”. I could be making a living in a different way but I’ve chosen this one. When I ask myself why it is interesting for me, the answer is: because it is fascinating for me to support people in their development”. Why? “Because I can help them realize their potential”. And why is this important for me? “Because I believe people who realize their potential live their true lives and thanks to that they create value in the world and change it for better”.
And this is my deepest motivation – I want to add a small piece so the world becomes better and people happier!
Your deepest motivation may be different – whatever is important for you just try to find it in it. Maybe you want to connect people with beauty, joy, or you want to make yourself happy and feel you live for real… These are all very important motivations.
Revelation no 5
Remember to take care of yourself. Seriously. How? First of all – breath… Your breath connects you with your body and your body connects you with … life. We may say we live ‘by means’ of our bodies. But we forget our body often. We concentrate on our mind and soon we become ‘walking heads’ which never stop thinking and solving problems.
There’s no end for this problems, we suffer from so called sickness of thoughts which takes joy from life. So breath, look, listen, be present here and now, as much as you can. Every day at least for a few minutes concentrate on your breathing and feel how the air fills in your body and how you become a breathing being… which doesn’t need anything because it has everything … it is at home… in its body… YOU – really present, complete, fulfilled…
So you know you have a potential that you want to realize, you have rested during the last weekend, you have your free time scheduled and you discovered your deepest motivation and you take care of yourself… so what now? Now get to work! Give yourself a chance once again! I keep my fingers crossed for you!
All the best!
Monika
And I’m very interested in hearing your comments to the subject I wrote here on, share them with me below!