Have you ever thought how it works? You are doing something or you are saying something and in this exact moment when you finished your work or sentence, you immediately start to worry what people will think about it.
Or maybe you start to worry still even when you have not yet finished!

What do you think about how it influences you? How does this self-judgment impact results of any project you are working on?

And how many times did it happen to you that you didn’t even start any actions because you were worrying what others will say… or think about you?

Horrible! I’m sure you understand that this kind of approach may limit your potential and make it impossible for you to realize your passions. Besides, you just don’t give yourself a chance to be happy!

If you think your problem is that you excessively worry about what other may think about you and that they may negatively judge you these are my recommendations for you of how you can deal with this problem.

Advice no 1 – Feel for real your body and don’t judge your emotions.

Maybe you are just about to give a speech or presentation or you just want to say something during an important meeting and …this feeling is coming, you can sense this paralyzing fear and you can recognize the thoughts in your head that are telling you „now everybody will discover the true me, and how poor I am, how little I know, or even if I know something this fear will not allow me to express it properly and I’m going to make a fool of myself…”

My advice? Take a deep breath, and one more or maybe several ones, as many as needed, close your eyes and feel your body… Imagine your body as a big energetic field in which any sensations are good so stop judging them, only notice them and concentrate on your breathing… Let your body relax… When you relax your body it will much easier for you then to give the speech or presentation.

And now watch this video – isn’t it very true? And after that come back to the advice no 2.

Advice no 2 – Be happy so others will not feel like judging you…

If you worry that others may judge you it probably means that you are very judgmental to yourself. So – stop! Stop comparing yourself to an ideal human being or an ideal woman. There are no ideal creatures, they just don’t exist in the nature! Look around you! And accept the reality as it is.

Stop scanning yourself for finding faults and weaknesses. Instead of feeling unhappy because of all the things which you lack start being happy with all the things which you have! Others will notice that and they will never judge you anymore.

Advice no 3 – Feedback is first of all about the person who is giving it and not about you.

Surprised? This is very simple. For example if my client tells me she didn’t like something in my work it means for me she is giving me information about her expectations – what kind of result she wanted from me. It doesn’t mean she is judging me as a person.

So if I made big efforts to satisfy my client but she didn’t like the result I don’t feel hopeless. I only correct the result to how the client would like it to have and I draw conclusions for future works for this client. I don’t need to punish myself by feeling negative emotions and judging myself as a bad coach or trainer.

So to sum up:
Learn to take care of your emotions through your body.
And remember negative feedback doesn’t define you but describe the other person expectations of you.

As always at the end I want to assure you that everything is ok with you. You are great and you don’t lack anything. So look at a mirror and smile to yourself :-)…

And I’m very interested in hearing your comments to the subject I wrote here on, share them with me below!